About a Hooligan

I have been dreading writing this post for several weeks now, but I am forcing myself to write it now and get it over with. This is the movie I had been looking forward to watching with great anticipation since 2007 when I heard about it's future release, but the viewing experience I had while watching it was one of the biggest letdowns I have had in a while.
I love the murder mystery/thriller genre, having grown up watching movies and programs with that particular theme. The program, Mystery my family's personal favorite weekly show, hosted by Dianna Rigg was a huge influence on me and we hardly missed any episodes. I was definitely a fan of mystery movies and shows which featured the likes of Sherlock Holmes, Inspector Morse, Brother Cadfael, Hercule Poirot, etc. So, therefore, having such a love for this genre, I couldn't help but get excited about the idea of Elijah playing a smart Oxford student and mathematics whiz, who teams up with his idolized hero and professor (played by John Hurt), to solve a series of supposedly gruesome murders by using mathematics and logic. It sounded like the promising premise of a terrific movie, but it was not to be.
The cast is indeed a good one with some big names, and it is seemed that they had all shared a similar desire to work with director Alex de la Iglesia because of his previous work, which promised a great opportunity for them to work with him. Unfortunately, this film has definitely hurt their careers more so than help, and some, I am sure, are quite embarrassed over their involvement. I really hate to give an Elijah movie a really hard time, but this movie does not warrent much in the way of praise.

The movie was wince and cringe inducing and incredibly difficult to sit through due to the movie's pacing (or lack thereof), editing, dialogue, and screen writing.
It felt as if I was not watching the whole movie, but bits and pieces of a really chopped up and edited version of the original film. It jumped around so abruptly without warning between scenes and locations that it felt like huge gaps were missing that might have explained the sudden plot changes. It was very badly paced and the character development was non-existent.

The movie immediately began with Elijah's character arriving in Oxford and we don't really have any clue as to who his character is or why he is there in the first place. The one point the film had no trouble establishing was Elijah's obsession and worship of the philosopher, mathematician, and professor (John Hurt). This fascination and adoration of John Hurt's character totally went over my head because there seemed to be nothing worth that kind of admiration in his character, a mean, overbearing, self-important man with an ego larger than his head. The long and agonizingly over-intellectualized speech that John Hurt gives to a room full of Oxford students at one point in the film went on way too long and lost me in it's monotony.

So, Martin has been in Oxford for no more than two days when the lady he has been staying with is murdered and is discovered by Wood and Hurt. It had been very obvious that the mother and daughter (Julie Cox) had a real hatred for each other and it seems that the daughter should be the prime suspect for the murder, but she is let off the hook almost immediately after she provides an alibi.

Less than two days later, Julie Cox's character is hitting on Elijah and expressing her love and attraction to him and admitting her hatred of her mother in a very awkward scene that still makes me laugh. The two of them have met barely a few days earlier and she is telling him how much she loves him, and in an earlier scene, she expresses her jealousy over his meeting another girl (Leonor Watling) practically a day after he got to Oxford.

As much as I adore Elijah, he was really miscast as the playboy Oxford genius. It was difficult for me to really believe that he had the incredible sex appeal that could score him two gorgeous babe's at once. It was just a little laughable.

I will not go into the plot in this post like I normally do because the plot of the story was all over the place, and I don't think I could straighten it out enough to be understood. I will point out some really disturbing and mind boggling scenes that are still not making sense to me. Let's just dub this section:
The Top 5 Most Ridiculous Moments Found on Film!
1. A scene between Elijah and insane, jealous, Oxford student named Podorov who thinks that Hurt's character stole his mathematics discovery: Podorov obviously loathes Elijah, but in one scene they are drinking together and they are in an argument when Podorov jumps up and starts drunkenly running around on the mess hall tables. Elijah hops up too and proceeds to pull him down, taking him outside where Podorov continues to flip out and consequently hit Elijah. Elijah pursues him and they tousle about. The next thing you know, Elijah can be seen carrying the unconscious Podorov into his room. My question is what point in the movie they had become such goods friends and drinking buddies?

2. Elijah and Hurt are in an argument about logic, or whatever, as they are walking down the street. Suddenly, Elijah trips and falls into a construction area after saying "I trust my eyes" very adamantly to Hurt, and he continues to lay in a pile of gravel as he carries on the conversation without missing a beat.

3. The infamous Spaghetti scene with Leonora (naked in a cooking apron) is one of the most ridiculous of the scenes listed here. After some frolicking with Elijah, Leonor has fixed some spaghetti and she brings Elijah a plate of it. Elijah puts a handful of spaghetti on Leonor's ample chest and proceeds to eat it with his bare hands as they laugh and giggle. Don't ask me what purpose the scene has within the scheme of the movie...I haven't actually been able to discover the scheme of the movie yet either.

4. In this space, I must make room for the VERY tiresome scene that is John Hurt's long, egotistical and embittered speech to an auditorium filled with aspiring students. I find it particularly funny because I just want to know what happened in his life to make him so hateful.
5. Last but not least, the chuckle/cringe inducing scene where Julie Cox is expressing her love to Elijah within two days of knowing him. I thought it was extremely soap opera like, and the least believable scene in the movie...Although none of them really were...
6. I am actually adding a sixth ridiculous scene because I just couldn't get it out of my mind. I actually found it quite disturbing and not funny...It is right after Elijah and Leonor have first met and she has beaten him at racquetball and they fall onto the floor next to each other panting hard. They are laying there laughing and eyeng each other and Elijah (still panting) starts oggling her boobs with his huge eyes, then he looks back at her face with this hungry expression...I was shuddering at how gross it was!

Unfortunately, this was one of the first Elijah movies I have asked my boyfriend, Jeremy, to sit down and watch with me and he agreed to humor me. In fact, it had been Jeremy who acquired the movie for me since he knew how much I was anticipating it. I hope I have not driven him away from watching more Elijah Wood movies with me because of the experience.
I asked him to answer a few of my questions about the movie so that I could post some of his thoughts in this review to get another person's perspective on the film. Jeremy runs his own music and movies blog over at Moon in the Gutter, along with a great "all things 70's" site called Harry Moseby Confidential, and also a tribute site for Nastassja Kinski called Nostalgia Kinky.

My Oxford Murders Questionnaire answered by Moon in the Gutter's Jeremy Richey:

1. Overall, what did you think of this movie, and how would you rate it?

I looked up 'daft' in the dictionary and it had 'senseless', 'stupid' and 'foolish' listed, and according to Wikipedia 'daft' is also a British slang term for 'silly'. So I would say that I found this film extremely daft.

2. What were two of the worst moments in the film?

The scene where Elijah fell on the sidewalk while talking to John Hurt and just continued the conversation was priceless and the infamous spaghetti scene was something I will never forget...although I would like to.

3. What was the best moment (or redeeming quality) in the film?

I quite liked some of Elijah's clothes and the moment when the closing credits began brought a smile to my face.

4. Funniest moment (if any)?

Well the two worst moments above were pretty funny but I would say the scene where Julie Cox expresses her undying love for Elijah just like a day after she met him was particularly chuckle inducing.

5. Describe the movie in one sentence?

Asinine.

6. How would you describe Elijah's performance?

There wasn't really a performance to give. He's a terrific actor as is John Hurt, Leonor Watling and Dominique Pinon but the script was so terribly written that it would have been impossible for any of them to give anything resembling a good performance.

7. Who was your favorite character?

I wanted to kill John Hurt's character so it wouldn't be him and I can't abide the wasting of pasta so Leonor is out as well. I would say that my favorite was 'student (uncredited)' played by someone named Glyn Angell although I couldn't tell you where exactly they appeared in the film nor would I want to re watch it again to find out.

8. What would you have done differently if it had been your film and you were directing?

Had I been stupid enough to sign on with this script I would have shut down production immediately or I would have turned it into a full blown comedy.

9. Anything else you want to say---

I'm still wondering if this monster will ever get a release stateside. I suspect it will eventually come out on DVD here and no doubt someone will try and turn it into some sort of cult classic. I'm not having it, this film was atrocious.

The fault of this film does not lie with incompetent actors (because the cast is quite competent when given a good script), but with the director and editors who were unable to use the marvelous cast to their advantage because the script was doomed from the start.

I was also expecting (and kind of hoping) to see more gore and grizzly murder footage, but that was depressingly absent in an overly talky and boringly intellectualized film that really misses the mark.
If you still wish to see this movie, I hope it is a much better viewing experience for any brave enough to sit through it.
The one positive thing that I got out of the film was the very strong desire to hunt down and re-watch every episode of Inspector Morse, and to rediscover the magic that was the great detective teamwork of Detective Chief Inspector Morse and his faithful sidekick, Lewis. At least John Thaw (Morse) knew how to bring out the more likable and sympathetic sides of an antagonistic, sour, and intellectual snobby character. His is an Oxford tale worth watching.